Soul crying

Just wanted to give a quick update. Classes have been going well. Had my first test in Bib. Lit. which went well. I typically don't like writing tests that are subjective, but this one was not too bad. I have also had several quizzes. This last week was the first time I think I had ever boomed a quiz before. The quiz was for my English class over stories in our textbook. I had ordered  my textbook a week and a half prior to that day but it still did not come in time. I was a bit upset about it, but there really was not much I could do unless I had asked to borrow someone's book. This semester I actually have not had time to complete some assignments as well. Things will free up a ton in a week or two when I am done with flying so that will help a lot. I am at peace about the whole semester though. I am just taking it a day at a time and doing my best and getting as much work done as I can.

I took a mini road trip to Dallas Friday night to see my cousin Deb who is going to Christ for the Nations (CFNI). I really enjoyed hearing and seeing how God was working at CFNI. It was also really nice to leave all my responsibilities behind and not worry about everything that needed to get done. I was not quite sure what to expect, but had been throwing around the idea of visiting my cousin for a while.

All in all, the trip was refreshing. To be around other students (both young and old), who were on fire for the Lord was awesome. Honestly, it was nice to not be surrounded by people who knew me. Part of the worship was in Spanish too. This was a bit interesting at first, but you know what? Even if I don't know Spanish I can still worship God. Make a joyful noise to the Lord right? You don't need words, lyrics, or a tune to worship God. A lot of times I think we don't understand what we are actually saying when we sing worship songs to God. Worship becomes more about sounding good and singing a tune then it is about raising up praise to God. We in essence become desensitized to the words since they are so familiar.  "How great is our God! Sing with me how great is our God!" Do you really mean that when you sing it? Is God really great in your sight? Is God everything you need and all that you want? A lot of times we come to worship with wrong motives and attitude too. I know I come often with the idea of its God's job to restore me. When it really should be me coming humbly before our mighty God and offering up praise and worship to Him alone in faith and through that God then meets us. Worship is about brining glory to God, and not about us. I think we all know this, but do we actually live it out?

Worship at CFNI was refreshing and freeing. A group of students coming humbly before God and crying out to Him with everything inside. You are just stripped to your core, nothing else matters but God. Homework, tests, relationships, everything is just put aside to focus on God. Our very soul longing and crying out to be closer to God. Music tries to express our deep desire to cry out to God with everything in us. There was freedom to jump around, life your hands, kneel, and just cry out to God. For me, thats powerful, moving, and shows a real desire to connect, a longing in our soul for something more. I can't explain it. Worshiping in a setting like that, you don't care how you look or what you do, you just focus on God and cry out to Him. It doesn't matter what is going on around you, it is just you and God.

I know a lot of you, who are not from a more Charismatic background, have problems with me describing worship like this. I know different people connect with God in different ways and in different cultures differently. Your background dictates a lot of how you approach God and what you look for in a church. I think this boils down to Romans 14. That we should not put a stumbling block in our brother's way. I have always thought about this in different worship settings: "Is what I am doing causing a distraction to those around me and taking the focus off of you God?" I think this is something we need to be careful with, especially those of us who are more expressive in worship at times. In no ways am I trying to "rank" how spiritual someone is or something. Christians are so easy to judge one another and also compare ourselves.

Peace and love,
Ken

P.S. I plan on going back to CFNI sometime later this semester if anyone is interested.