Quick update on what has been going on as of late. After working in VA, I went up to Canada for a couple days with my family and friends from church. After that was Thanksgiving in August. Then I drove down to Texas from PA.
This upcoming semester is going to be challenging for me in a lot of ways. For one, I am taking 21 credits, which includes 3 labs and a flight course. I am also heading up the LUMA group, and am still involved with NIFA. 41 EO (Extended orientation) is this week, and it is weird meeting all the new freshman on our floor. I actually just moved into an apartment on campus with 3 other guys, and am enjoying it a lot. We are pretty much settled in now, and tweak the arrangement of furniture as the days go on. Nothing matches, but it is a very nice apartment. Our kitchen is fully stocked, including 3 fridges (2 mini, 1 full), a stove, dishwasher, microwave, toaster oven, 2 George foreman grills, knife set, pots, pans, misc. cooking stuff, cutting board, etc. And about 4 coffee makers. Finding a vacuum cleaner in the dumpster was a blessing, all it needed was a new belt. It is weird being off of 41, but the apartments are much more out of the way/quiet.
The semester brings a lot of changes too. A new dorm is being built, and a lot of progress has been made on that. The pond has been neatened up, a parking lot is being made, the logo changed, new majors were added. The ATC sim lab is up and running. We also have a nursing program, so the freshman class ratio was 2 guys to 1 girl (which is crazy- it is typically 3 or 4 to 1). With all these changes, I feel like the culture of our school has changed a lot. I don't know how to put it, but being a senior is weird. Things that used to be back in the old days, like old saga, are a thing of the past now. I almost feel like the new logo is trying to be more appealing towards a larger group of people, to make the school more popular or more normal almost. I like the old way. Yeah, in order to grow things need to be changed around and all... but still the atmosphere is just different. These changes attract more people. Is it numbers we are after or quality? Honestly, with the new nursing program there have been a ton more girls around, which is "good", but at the same time there are a ton more immodest people (guys and girls) walking around as well. Along with a ton more immature relationships forming over just the first couple weeks.
This past summer there were a lot of memories that I treasured and thought back on, as the days of my youth. Like at the church picnic, going to a bridge. At home, its the Left (gas station), and the gazebo by the lake. I also had some time to walk around downtown Philly this summer. I went to the national art place where the rocky steps are, just to remember things from my mission trip several years ago. This place brought back a flood of memories.
Moving on with change is hard. New change can be unwanted. Life still chugs on. Learning from the past and pushing forward to make the most of every minute.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
My vomit of being a good person
It was a cold and rainy day on Falcon street, mentally and physically. Nothing new here, nothing ever changes for John. He is set in his way and is getting on in age. Routines are the same. Eat breakfast then drink coffee while watching the news. Tuesdays were special visit nurse days for medicine. Wednesday food delivery day. Every Thursday, in house checkups on the progression of his health. The docs said he did not have much longer to live, not much longer at all. He was hurting inside and out. It had been what felt like decades since his wife had died. Time since then just carelessly slip on by. The calendar on the wall was from 2 years ago, the month never changed since that tragic day. Dust collected on the book shelves and rooms had not glimpsed a person in who knows how long. Floor boards were cracking, paint was chipped away, and the yard looked like a jungle. No one ever came to visit John. He was a lonely man.
*Ring ring* “Hello?” asked Samantha.
“Yes, hello this is sheriff Jerry down here in Greendryer. Is this Samantha Bates?”
“Yes it is, what can I do for you?”
“I’m sorry to inform you, but your great grandfather John just passed away. Bad health.”
“Oh.” Said Samantha a bit confused. “I thought he had passed away a couple years ago.”
“No, that was his wife. We have tried calling other relatives, but to no luck. This guy doesn’t keep up with you much does he?”
“No, we have not, there is such a great distance between us, he was getting kind of senile.. and ever since the family feud…” her voice trails off.
“Yes Ma’am. Well what do you want to do with all of his stuff? There is quite a bit here. Hundreds of old pictures of the family, his Army honorable discharge certificate, marriage certificate, wine glasses from the wedding, and even old china, dolls, and some coins.”
“Well I have a very big promotion review coming up, so I am booked for the next 3 weeks. I am just not going to be able to deal with any of this right now. Just donate it or something.” She said.
“Well all right… if you say so.” Said the officer
*They hung up the phone after a brief discussion on what to do with the body*
He packed up the patrol car as best he could of items to be donated but left behind much of the keepsakes and old family mementos in a couple of boxes on the curve for the garbage man to pick up.
This is in part a true story. The story was completely made up, but with aspects that relate to actual life. I went home for the weekend and we went on a walk. We found boxes of photos, keep sakes, video tapes, and everything listed in the previous list. Just left out on the curve. It appeared like someone had died and they just wanted to get rid of everything. There were many beautiful items, pictures, and things to remember “John” by. But now “John” is gone, assumed dead, and all his stuff is left to be taken away by the garbage man. This is a sad story. Everything that once meant something, that was worth keeping, now means nothing to anyone. It is thrown out and forgotten forever.
I often wonder what I am doing with my life, and if I am doing everything to the best of my ability to make an impact. I recently took a physics course online, and someone posted “Depite the rigourous schedule and breakneck pace I actualy enjoyed this class. Thank you everyone who participated in the Exam Reviews. You all saved my bacon :) Hope every succedes in thier pursuit of the American Dream.......” I then decided to query him on what he meant by the American dream. In return he replied with “I am assuming everyone here is taking this course in the pursuit of a degree, and pursuing a degree in the pursuit of a job or career, and finaly pursuing a job/career in pursuit of the American Dream. Prosperity, freedom, affluence, purpose; these are the precepts of the American Dream.”
Back on October 19th, 2008 I posted a note called Homeless Apathy. In this note I said the following:
“Johnny Cash – Hurt http://www.youtube.com/wat
This is a very powerful movie.. Someone who you think has life great, everything they could ever imagine.. but yet says: “What have I become? Everyone I know goes away in the end. You could have it all, my empire of dirt..”
Where is our focus? Is it on building an empire of dirt? Possessions, money, fame? Shouldn’t our relationships be more important than “stuff”? More important than our GPA? How often we sacrifice sleep to get homework done, but so not often to stay up and talk with someone who is hurting.
“If I could start again, a million miles away… I would find a way.”“
“Possessions, money, fame, grades.” “Prosperity, freedom, affluence, purpose; these are the precepts of the American Dream.”
This brings me to the question: Are we so much different then John in the story? Even if we do complete everything we ever wish to do in this life, in the end, will it just end up in a box on the side of the road to be forgotten by the generations to come? Is our pursuit of the American dream really all that it is cracked up to be? I guess for me, that is not appealing. Maybe it is for other people. I never want to retire. And by that, I mean I always want to be making an impact in the world. No I am not radical. And yes, chances are I will not be famous, nor will many people know me. But the lives of other people that I do impact will transverse the globe. And they in turn will impact others, and so on and so forth until it is the world. That is my American dream. Not I, or by myself, but God and Him first and forthmost. His glory, not mine. His Story, not mine.
I often wonder about Matthew 7:13-23 “13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. 15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”
Let me ask you this. What would your life look like if you did not love God? (There was a very similar question which I cant seem to remember in some book that was brought up by a professor). I think Christians struggle with a theoretical knowledge compared to a practical application knowledge what it means to love God and be a Christian. How does your life look different then those around you? Do you not swear as much? Drink as much? Watch as much dirty movies? Do you go to church on Sundays? Do you consider yourself a good person? Do you read the Bible? Do you pray? Do you serve? Do you love? Do you sacrifice?
There are tons of good people in the world. But being a good person does not make you a Christ follower. Calling yourself a Christian does not make you a Christian. Going to church does not make you a Christian. A life of love and service and commitment to Christ and Him alone, a relationship, makes you a Christ follower; Christian. The gate is small and the road is narrow. Americanized Christianity mostly falls into the “away from me you evil doer, I never knew you” category. This is a strong statement, and I know a ton of people will disagree with me. But I ask you, I beg you to take a step back and look at your life. Are you really truly following after Christ?
I am far from perfect. I consider myself a good person. I call myself a Christian. But am I? Yes, God’s grace is unabounding, but do I push the line? Am I just enough of a christian to go to heaven? Am I a heaven-Christian--- one who is only concerned about heaven? Live heaven now! Don’t wait to you die before it is too late. We will all be judged for what we do here on this earth. I may even be judged for writing these words and the hypocrisy that bleeds through with what I say versus what I do. I fear we have all become lukewarm, and will thus be vomited out away from God. We are not worthy of anything. We sin, we fail, we pretty much are horrible. Grace is a wonderful thing, but live in Christ, and don’t take it for granted. I do think we can turn our backs on God. I don’t really buy the once saved always saved theory. It seems clear that those following God and even performing miracles in Christ’s name, were not known by Christ.
What is stopping us from living radically for God? Is it our concept/view/goal for the American dream? Is it our addictions, our idols set up? Do we think something is better then what Christ has to offer? In essence, that is what we are doing when we sin. We are saying this item, this thing, is better then who Christ is, and what He has done for me. Are we more addicted to video games, pornography, shopping, cars, airplanes, then we are to God and His Word, and to prayer? I know I spend a lot more time on the computer then I do with reading the Bible.
God help us! Save us from ourselves! From our view of the American dream, from our idols we have placed before us. Forgive me. I repent, we turn from (180 degrees) those things that take us away from you. Forgive us for putting other things first, and not you first. Help us to really understand what it means to repent. We need you. We don’t want to be lukewarm. Search out hearts God! Cleanse us anew! Make our thoughts ever on you! Wash us clean from all unrighteousness and filth. Set us ablaze with a fire from your Holy Spirit that burns deep within our soul. Amen.
Just some of many thoughts as of late. I plan on writing again soon. (I know I have not in a looong time). A teaser: I plan on writing about Walmart, and authority, and sweat shops, and the war and our indirect direct role as Christians.
*Ring ring* “Hello?” asked Samantha.
“Yes, hello this is sheriff Jerry down here in Greendryer. Is this Samantha Bates?”
“Yes it is, what can I do for you?”
“I’m sorry to inform you, but your great grandfather John just passed away. Bad health.”
“Oh.” Said Samantha a bit confused. “I thought he had passed away a couple years ago.”
“No, that was his wife. We have tried calling other relatives, but to no luck. This guy doesn’t keep up with you much does he?”
“No, we have not, there is such a great distance between us, he was getting kind of senile.. and ever since the family feud…” her voice trails off.
“Yes Ma’am. Well what do you want to do with all of his stuff? There is quite a bit here. Hundreds of old pictures of the family, his Army honorable discharge certificate, marriage certificate, wine glasses from the wedding, and even old china, dolls, and some coins.”
“Well I have a very big promotion review coming up, so I am booked for the next 3 weeks. I am just not going to be able to deal with any of this right now. Just donate it or something.” She said.
“Well all right… if you say so.” Said the officer
*They hung up the phone after a brief discussion on what to do with the body*
He packed up the patrol car as best he could of items to be donated but left behind much of the keepsakes and old family mementos in a couple of boxes on the curve for the garbage man to pick up.
This is in part a true story. The story was completely made up, but with aspects that relate to actual life. I went home for the weekend and we went on a walk. We found boxes of photos, keep sakes, video tapes, and everything listed in the previous list. Just left out on the curve. It appeared like someone had died and they just wanted to get rid of everything. There were many beautiful items, pictures, and things to remember “John” by. But now “John” is gone, assumed dead, and all his stuff is left to be taken away by the garbage man. This is a sad story. Everything that once meant something, that was worth keeping, now means nothing to anyone. It is thrown out and forgotten forever.
I often wonder what I am doing with my life, and if I am doing everything to the best of my ability to make an impact. I recently took a physics course online, and someone posted “Depite the rigourous schedule and breakneck pace I actualy enjoyed this class. Thank you everyone who participated in the Exam Reviews. You all saved my bacon :) Hope every succedes in thier pursuit of the American Dream.......” I then decided to query him on what he meant by the American dream. In return he replied with “I am assuming everyone here is taking this course in the pursuit of a degree, and pursuing a degree in the pursuit of a job or career, and finaly pursuing a job/career in pursuit of the American Dream. Prosperity, freedom, affluence, purpose; these are the precepts of the American Dream.”
Back on October 19th, 2008 I posted a note called Homeless Apathy. In this note I said the following:
“Johnny Cash – Hurt http://www.youtube.com/wat
This is a very powerful movie.. Someone who you think has life great, everything they could ever imagine.. but yet says: “What have I become? Everyone I know goes away in the end. You could have it all, my empire of dirt..”
Where is our focus? Is it on building an empire of dirt? Possessions, money, fame? Shouldn’t our relationships be more important than “stuff”? More important than our GPA? How often we sacrifice sleep to get homework done, but so not often to stay up and talk with someone who is hurting.
“If I could start again, a million miles away… I would find a way.”“
“Possessions, money, fame, grades.” “Prosperity, freedom, affluence, purpose; these are the precepts of the American Dream.”
This brings me to the question: Are we so much different then John in the story? Even if we do complete everything we ever wish to do in this life, in the end, will it just end up in a box on the side of the road to be forgotten by the generations to come? Is our pursuit of the American dream really all that it is cracked up to be? I guess for me, that is not appealing. Maybe it is for other people. I never want to retire. And by that, I mean I always want to be making an impact in the world. No I am not radical. And yes, chances are I will not be famous, nor will many people know me. But the lives of other people that I do impact will transverse the globe. And they in turn will impact others, and so on and so forth until it is the world. That is my American dream. Not I, or by myself, but God and Him first and forthmost. His glory, not mine. His Story, not mine.
I often wonder about Matthew 7:13-23 “13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. 15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”
Let me ask you this. What would your life look like if you did not love God? (There was a very similar question which I cant seem to remember in some book that was brought up by a professor). I think Christians struggle with a theoretical knowledge compared to a practical application knowledge what it means to love God and be a Christian. How does your life look different then those around you? Do you not swear as much? Drink as much? Watch as much dirty movies? Do you go to church on Sundays? Do you consider yourself a good person? Do you read the Bible? Do you pray? Do you serve? Do you love? Do you sacrifice?
There are tons of good people in the world. But being a good person does not make you a Christ follower. Calling yourself a Christian does not make you a Christian. Going to church does not make you a Christian. A life of love and service and commitment to Christ and Him alone, a relationship, makes you a Christ follower; Christian. The gate is small and the road is narrow. Americanized Christianity mostly falls into the “away from me you evil doer, I never knew you” category. This is a strong statement, and I know a ton of people will disagree with me. But I ask you, I beg you to take a step back and look at your life. Are you really truly following after Christ?
I am far from perfect. I consider myself a good person. I call myself a Christian. But am I? Yes, God’s grace is unabounding, but do I push the line? Am I just enough of a christian to go to heaven? Am I a heaven-Christian--- one who is only concerned about heaven? Live heaven now! Don’t wait to you die before it is too late. We will all be judged for what we do here on this earth. I may even be judged for writing these words and the hypocrisy that bleeds through with what I say versus what I do. I fear we have all become lukewarm, and will thus be vomited out away from God. We are not worthy of anything. We sin, we fail, we pretty much are horrible. Grace is a wonderful thing, but live in Christ, and don’t take it for granted. I do think we can turn our backs on God. I don’t really buy the once saved always saved theory. It seems clear that those following God and even performing miracles in Christ’s name, were not known by Christ.
What is stopping us from living radically for God? Is it our concept/view/goal for the American dream? Is it our addictions, our idols set up? Do we think something is better then what Christ has to offer? In essence, that is what we are doing when we sin. We are saying this item, this thing, is better then who Christ is, and what He has done for me. Are we more addicted to video games, pornography, shopping, cars, airplanes, then we are to God and His Word, and to prayer? I know I spend a lot more time on the computer then I do with reading the Bible.
God help us! Save us from ourselves! From our view of the American dream, from our idols we have placed before us. Forgive me. I repent, we turn from (180 degrees) those things that take us away from you. Forgive us for putting other things first, and not you first. Help us to really understand what it means to repent. We need you. We don’t want to be lukewarm. Search out hearts God! Cleanse us anew! Make our thoughts ever on you! Wash us clean from all unrighteousness and filth. Set us ablaze with a fire from your Holy Spirit that burns deep within our soul. Amen.
Just some of many thoughts as of late. I plan on writing again soon. (I know I have not in a looong time). A teaser: I plan on writing about Walmart, and authority, and sweat shops, and the war and our indirect direct role as Christians.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)