Free Writing

I apologize for the randomness of my tired brain. Or maybe you are just crazy enough to read my trains of thought.

I have not written anything on my blog in a while, so I figured I would write a quick update. I am finally done with all my flight courses at LeTourneau! 14.8 hrs in the Lance, and I have my high performance endorsement. Now that I am not flying anymore, I have a lot more free time. It has been nice catching up on other subjects and  even being a bit ahead. This upcoming week is not too bad, with 2 tests. The week after I have around 3-4 tests, so it will be a bit busier.

This semester has been flying by. We are almost at midterms already. I have been enjoying my classes, even though some of them have been frustrating/a lot of busy work. I am really looking forward to being home with family in December. A bit of senioritis has set in I suppose you can say. Before I know it, I will be taking my O&Ps, and will be a certified mechanic in the beginning of January. A lot of people are wondering where I plan on going and what I am going to do. I have a general idea, but nothing set in stone. My thought was to work as a mechanic as I earn my flight instructor certificate. I don't think this would take more then a summer. I plan on taking at least a couple weeks off, and spending time with my family before I start anything. The aviation industry is a funny one. The cost of maintenance and training is incredible, but the pay is not that great. I could really end up anywhere. It is very humbling to have no idea where you will be in a couple months. I suppose thats just part of our American mindset wanting to plan things out and be in control.

Only God knows where I am going to end up. I hate that I am torn between maintenance and flight. At this stage, there are few jobs (I guess thats my goal?) that offer both maintenance and flight. People say there will be a time where you need to pick and make a decision. I could go flight instructor route and build hours. I could work as a mechanic and work towards my IA or even opening up my own shop. I hate the fact that there is so much liability involved with aviation. Not to mention countless pages of regulations and rules you must adhere to. I think only in mission work are you guaranteed maintenance and flight in most cases.

I find it weird looking back on my years at college and picturing myself as senior now. Everyone looks up to you, and your expected to know it all, be it all, do it all. That is pretty far from the case. I think a lot of college is just maturing and being able to think on your own and solve problems and look at something and figure out how it works. As a leader of a campus group, I know I am also looked at in a certain way. I don't like to put on false fronts, but I do anyway to uphold the image of the group/ my reputation. I am not saying I'm fake, but that a lot of people don't know who I truly am--away from aviation/away from church/away from anything common between us. Strip it all away, and come up with a persons true personality. Through the fire so to speak and out comes the true person.

Deep down inside all of us there is a deep longing to be accepted and loved. As much as we say we don't care what people think of us, we are obsessed with it. I want to be loved, to be accepted, to be liked. Though I like to think I go against the grain in some areas, forge my own way and stick out. I like to challenge people. Being different from the status quo is what makes people unique. We all have our "thing" that makes us "us".

A lot has already happened this semester, and i'm sure a lot more change is in store. Two of my close friends went to India for 6 months. Pretty crazy. You never quite know what life will throw at you. So you have to make the most of every second of the day. Every second that goes by you will not be able to get back. Every decision you make has some sort of influence. Even a ton of small decisions build up and form habits or just change the direction your life is going. We should not regret/focus on the past for too long; only long enough to learn from it and move on. If we get so caught up with the past, we loose track of where we are going in the present.

I like blogging in the dark/dimly lit room. Helps me focus and think.
This weekend was quite with two of my roommates gone.
The weather was nice, and even "chilly" 70 degrees out.
I miss my family and friends.
I enjoyed doing nothing tonight and watching TV. I liked that i mentally clicked out and did not think about school. I watched the Sherlock Holmes movie last night too.
Relationships are more important then papers. More important then grades. I wonder how many lost opportunities I have had and the friendships I could have made with people all over the world. I value friendship a ton. Especially since I'm moving out in 1.5 semesters, things will change. We will not be around fellow friends very often. A new chapter of life starts. New friends are made. New beginnings...